When you’re standing in front of a room—whether pitching funding for your next big initiative, rallying support from stakeholders, or captivating a conference audience—it’s not just your words that move people to action. One of the most overlooked yet powerful tools in your influence toolkit?
In this edition:
Eye contact.
I remember when I was hiring consultants, we invited one candidate to pitch the entire team on his credentials. He was well-prepared, articulate, and persuasive—at least in theory. But as the presentation unfolded, it became painfully obvious to everyone in the room, especially me, that his gaze was disproportionately directed at my male colleagues. As the decision-maker, one could say I was crucial to his prospects, yet I felt alienated while other team members squirmed at the blatant oversight. Despite his expertise, this oversight cost him the opportunity.
This isn’t just a story of one candidate’s misstep; it’s a lesson for all of us. Embracing conscious leadership means embracing a culture of “WE”—one that values inclusivity, respects every voice, and recognizes the unspoken influence we project. Eye contact may seem simple, but wielded effectively, it can amplify your influence, enhance your conscious leadership, and bring others along in your vision. Let’s delve in and explore three ways you can make your eye contact impactful, inclusive, and powerful in every engagement.
The Importance of Eye Contact in Creating a Culture of WE.
If you’re on a mission to drive social change, you know that your work is about much more than personal success. Creating a “WE culture” means fostering a community of shared purpose, mutual respect, and empowerment. You don’t lead for yourself; you lead for everyone impacted by your mission. And guess what? Eye contact can be your silent but mighty ally in this pursuit.
When used mindfully, eye contact signals respect, engagement, and intent. It shows that every person in the room matters to you—and that you see them as an equal contributor to the vision you’re working toward. Leaders who cultivate this inclusive presence become memorable. They leave people feeling valued, making each individual feel like they’re part of something bigger than themselves.
As a Conscious Leader, your role is to catalyze this connection, to make everyone in the room feel part of the ripple effect you’re creating. The real art of eye contact isn’t just about looking—it’s about seeing, acknowledging, and empowering.
The Power of Eye Contact (and Its Absence)
Back to our story. The candidate’s presentation was a missed opportunity because he forgot a foundational principle of impactful communication: making every person feel seen. By focusing his gaze primarily on the men in the room, he inadvertently signaled to the female decision-maker—that they weren’t his priority.
What message are you really sending when your gaze skips over certain people in the room? This isn’t just a mistake; it’s a message. And the message was loud and clear: “I value some people more than others.” Unintentional? Sure. But perceptions are powerful, especially when you’re in a room full of influencers or decision-makers.
This story isn’t just about one person’s misstep. It’s a cautionary tale for all of us. Eye contact can unite or divide, empower or diminish. The way you direct your gaze can create an environment of mutual respect and understanding—or an atmosphere of exclusion and discomfort. For social impact leaders, mastering this skill is about more than communication; it’s about embodying a conscious leadership that invites everyone into the fold.
Three Strategies to Use Eye Contact Effectively in Every Interaction
So how can you, as a purpose-driven leader, ensure your eye contact aligns with the values you hold? Here are three strategies to elevate your conscious leadership, foster inclusivity, and make your contribution count.
1. One Thought, One Person
When you’re presenting, adopt the “One Thought, One Person” technique. As you share each thought, hold eye contact with one individual until you complete it. This not only grounds your message but ensures every person in the room feels personally addressed.
Here’s how it looks in action: Let’s say you’re delivering a point about the importance of sustaining your impact on mental health while fundraising. Rather than sweeping your gaze across the room, lock eyes with one person as you make your statement. Hold the gaze just long enough to complete the thought (not the sentence), then shift to another person for the next point. This method creates a powerful connection with each individual, making them feel included in the conversation.
Pro Tip: Aim to engage everyone, regardless of their role, gender, or position. Conscious leadership is about equality, and your eye contact should reflect that commitment.
Inclusive Tip: Pay attention to this in social gatherings, networking events, or even with family. Are you giving equal energy to everyone via eye contact? If not, you might be unconsciously impacting someone’s sense of value. Every glance counts.
2. Scan the Room with Intention
In a presentation conference setting, it’s tempting to focus on the people who are nodding along or visibly engaged. But don’t forget the power of intentional scanning. Divide the room mentally into sections, and make a point to connect with each section regularly.
Why is this important? Eye contact that’s inclusive of the entire room reinforces that your message is meant for everyone. You’re not just speaking to the nodders; you’re speaking to each individual, affirming that their presence matters. Even if someone isn’t reacting visibly, catching their eye every so often brings them back into the fold, reminding them that they are seen and valued.
Pro Tip: Be mindful of lingering too long on one section. Balance is key to creating a sense of unity and inclusion.
Inclusive Tip: Remember, some people are just listening, processing, and don’t let their faces reveal agreement or disagreement. Often, these quiet observers turn out to be your strongest advocates.
3. Be Present, Not Perfect
Perhaps the most impactful eye contact is the one that comes naturally, born out of genuine presence rather than rehearsed technique. While it’s helpful to prepare and practice, don’t get so caught up in “getting it right” that you lose the essence of authentic connection. I like to say: “Rehearse until it is natural and authentic.”
Your audience, donors, or team members don’t expect you to be flawless; they want you to be real. When you’re fully present in the moment, your eye contact will reflect that authenticity. It’s about showing that you’re engaged, that you’re there with them—not just delivering a polished pitch but creating a meaningful conversation.
Pro Tip: If you feel nervous, focus on one friendly face to start. Use their response as an anchor to ground yourself, then gradually expand to connect with others in the room.
Virtual Tip: For online meetings or presentations, create a similar connection by looking directly into the camera when addressing your audience. This simple adjustment gives a sense of direct engagement and fosters connection, even in virtual spaces.
Make Your Contribution Count Now
As Wave-Makers, our role goes beyond leading—it’s about inspiring, connecting, and fostering a WE culture where everyone feels seen and valued. Eye contact may be subtle, but its impact is profound. Every glance, every moment of acknowledgment, adds to the collective ripple effect we’re creating together.
Next time you’re in a room full of potential collaborators, supporters, or change-makers, remember: The eyes really do have it. Use them with intention, and watch how it transforms not just your presentations but the very fabric of your leadership.
Let’s make waves, not just with our words but with every connection we make. Make Your Contribution Count by being fully present, intentional, and inclusive. After all, conscious leadership starts with seeing—and valuing—the people right in front of us.
🌊🌊🌊
🌊 I’m Suzanne F. Stevens, your Wave-Maker at the YouMeWe Social Impact Group, empowering a WE Culture by cultivating conscious leadership.
I amplify the voices and impact of sheSocial•IMPACT Leaders through coaching, training, speaking, events, and on the YouMeWe Amplified Podcast. Elevate your leadership, amplify your authentic voice, and accelerate your sustainable social impact with YouMeWe.
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